Saturday, September 24, 2011

Never Leave Out The Eggs.

I have said before that I am not the most experienced cook in the world. However, I grew up making baked goods from boxed mixes. Brownies, cupcakes, and cakes became the one thing I actually knew how to make. So when my roommate and I decided to make brownies one night, who would have thought anything would go wrong?
Well, my roommate is obsessed with eggs and she eats them basically every day. We had just made dinner, hers being two egg salad sandwiches, when we decided on our dessert of choice.
“Uh, I actually hardboiled the last of our eggs,” my roommate said as she looked down at her dinner.
“Will hardboiled eggs not work in brownie mix?” I asked, knowing this was a stupid question but desperate for a resolution to our egg problem.
“I’ll just look up substitutes online!” my roommate exclaimed as she jumped from the table to fetch her laptop. She stumbled upon a seemingly trustworthy site. The site had several egg substitutes listed, including the combination we picked: baking soda and warm water.
“What does ‘leavened” mean?” I inquired, reading the word in parentheses next to the instructions. Neither of us knew so we decided to just give the substitute a shot, ignoring whatever “leavened” meant.
We mixed the ingredients in as usual and then put in two teaspoons of baking soda and two tablespoons of warm water. We mixed the batter and then dumped it into a pan. The consistency was noticeably different than a normal mix but we figured it would cook the same.
After popping the pan in the oven, we decided to lick the bowl. Something about the batter tasted a little funny as well, but we figured the heat would kill off the aftertaste.
Well it didn’t. It got worse. We opened the oven after the timer rang to be greeted by one of the worst sights we had seen.
Our disgusting creation.

The brownies looked like we had just took a shovel to a tar pit and plopped it into a pan. For whatever reason, we even tried tasting this disasterous confection with awful results. It did not even taste like chocolate and one bite was plenty.

We obviously had to dump the mush pile because it was not at all edible. So the moral of the story? Never leave out the eggs.

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